Humble Aggression – An Iterative Formula For Greatness

Be humble, but don’t put out your fire.

I recently faced somewhat of a conundrum. After reading books such as hypomanic edge, the laws of success, 48 laws of power, etc, I was sold on the idea that in order to succeed, we have to be BOLD; we have to be daring, brash, adventurous, loud ,and somewhat narcissistic.

It made sense — we often see successful such characteristics in our idols and heroes.

Christopher Columbus

Image credit to Aish.com

Christopher Columbus is an archetypical example of this. Driven by what he proclaims to be divine revelation, he believed that he was chosen by god to discover the Holy Land. He spends 15 years trying to convince ‘investors’ — crowns of different nations — to sponsor his voyage to discover these lands. Despite being unschooled and hopelessly grandiose, which got his plans rejected by many powerful officials, he never gave up hope. It truly seemed as though he never once doubted his ability or plans.

His arrogance gave him an air of confidence and charisma, which ultimately helped him to convince the Spanish royalty to back his plans.

We are often in awe of people who are daring, rebellious, and willing to take on insurmountable challenges. We deem these characteristics as rare elements that make up hyper-successful people.

I was convinced. Successful people are arrogant and bold — they have got to be. Right?

But…

Then I stumbled on the philosophy of stoicism. It presented a whole new approach to looking at things. Among the core principles of this philosophy is that ego is the antithesis of long term success; ego blurs our vision. Ego is the enemy of growth and improvement. It traps us in our imagination, our fantasy.

Image credit to Psychology Magazine

What I left out in that example of Christopher Columbus is that despite discovering modern-day America, he could have done it much sooner had he not been so overly grandiose and arrogant. After the Spanish royalty handed Columbus’s case to a committee of experts, he failed to impress them with his unrealistic fantasies and inaccurate math. Had he been more humble, he would have spent more time getting educated and schooled before preaching his ideas. Yet infused with unearned confidence, he never felt the need to improve or be realistic. After all, he was chosen by god, according to himself.

The reality is neither of these concepts is completely wrong. Being humble and realistic makes us attuned to our reality and situation. We do not puff up our abilities and skills; this will only make us delusional. Only by being aware of where we are, are we able to then learn and improve. Confronting our flaws and inadequacies might be painful — that is why we avoid it after all — yet it is the only way we can get better.

You might argue “But isn’t it important to have ego so that we have self-confidence.”

To answer this question, let’s first define what ‘ego’ is. ‘Ego’ is the voice that says you are important; the voice that says you deserve success far beyond what is currently justifiably reasonable. It is the detachment from reality into delusion. With that definition, ego does not build self-confidence. No — it undermines it. Confidence is built whenever we make a promise to ourselves and we achieve it, ego tells us to jump the gun of improvement and head for the kill. Often this results in utter failure and the destruction of what little genuine confidence we had in ourselves.

Humble Aggression

Yet humbleness is not complete on its own. The other ingredient — belief, an aggressive self-belief. Belief is not ego, belief is hope. It is the dream of a brighter future, the possibility of improvement. It is the antithesis of nihilism. It presents a set of future promises up for grabs by whoever is willing to put in the work.

Humbleness tells us we aren’t quite there yet, we need to get better, to improve. Belief tells us that we can improve, it tells us that it is worth a shot.

Be humble yet aggressive, understand where you currently stand, and then reject the future in which you remain where you are now. Reject it fervently. Reject it with hatred and resentment. Make that the last thing you want. Tell yourself that even the notion of remaining where you are now 5 years from now is sickening. It is a concept to dispense with. You want to improve, you want to improve so much that the you in 5 years will not recognize the current you. That is confidence. When you look back and see how far you have come in 5, 10, 15 years, you will KNOW you are a force to be reckoned with. You will know that you can surmount any challenges that come your way.

Don’t be a Howard Hughs, but also don’t be that neighbor that binge-watches Netflix, armed with a bowl of chips in hand, and drinks his sorrow away. Be better. Be a Marcus Aurelius. A humble king, living to serve his people and grow his knowledge.