The Anti-Hero’s Guide to Life — Dostoevsky’s “Notes” for the Modern Age

What we can learn from Dostoevsky’s Notes From the Underground...

I was recently at a gathering over the New Year with some friends. Following the terribly high-flown and flowery exchanges of friends gathering after an eternity, rowdy rounds of beer pongs, and far too many awkward glances with acquaintances you barely know, the screams and exultations died down and the night turned increasingly sentimental and sullen.

“Ohhh boy I hate this new job!” Interjected this boisterous young lady as my friend and I were conversing. “My boss is a total control freak! I mean, at least he is handsome, but boy does he get on my nerves. Like…ugh…seriously, you don’t have to check up on what I do every 5 minutes. Like…girl…pleaseee..let me do my job. I’ve been telling everyone to do something about it, but like, no one has any initiative there…ugh…it irks me.”

I stared at my friend — confused, and a little annoyed (she did interrupt our conversation). There was a good 5 seconds of awkward silence, though admittedly it felt more like 5 minutes. Then came what initially seemed like a god-sent silence breaker: “Yea man…same here. My boss is a total asshole. It makes me so annoyed so I take it out on my team. Not on purpose of course. I try my best to be nice, but sometimes I just can’t take it. Sucks for them, but if only they knew how much more it sucks for me. Phhh…bunch of ingrates.”

Get. Me. Out. Of. This. Place. Needless to say I left the place not long after this. I don’t know what else was said after, but I feel confident saying it was a long, long night.

Situations like these are super common. In fact, it is almost a covenant of good faith that when friends gather, they share their mutual forlorn and misanthropy. Oh how the world is against me and everything would be well and happy for me if not for all my misfortunes. But it’s understandable, and not entirely wrong. Many people indeed suffer injustices, misfortune, and soul-crushing injuries or deficiencies. There is nothing wrong with complaining, ranting, and wishing for good fortune. There is something wrong, however, with not taking any action to make it happen.

In Dostoevsky’s Notes From the Underground, Dostoevsky describes a fictional character — the underground man. Though he isn’t a real person, his qualities, his character, and his attitudes are hyperreal in that they reflect common attributes found in the unlucky and miserable. But don’t be fooled so quickly, you can have money and still feel that way. Yes, indeed, money doesn’t buy love, it doesn’t buy health, it doesn’t buy peace and a sense of satisfaction. It certainly helps, but my point is, the underground man, the antihero, or whatever you call him, is the way he is because he is rotten inside, not outside. (And yes when I say he I am not just referring to males but everyone).

So here it is, if you wish to feel hopeless and pitiful, for others to look at you as if you were a piece of filth dug up from the deepest trenches of misfortune such that no washing or cleaning would ever rid you of the feeling that your soul is decaying, if that is what you wish for, here is my complete guide to you inspired by Dostoevsky’s Notes From the Underground.

Always Find Someone or Something to Blame

Forgot to bring your wallet? It’s your damn wife’s fault for rushing you so much. No, better, it is the fault of your colleague distracting you with work messages when it’s clearly after hours. Ugh… hate those people. You make me feel bad with how hard you work. I digress. In any case, how can it possibly be your fault? No, it is insulting to even insinuate that the fault can be attributed to you. Why do I sound so aggressive and angry? That’s not my damn fault either. It’s the fault of all the people who constantly cause my life to be a headache. Who you ask? I have no idea, but what does it matter anyway, all you need to know is that it is not my fault.

Ahhh… refreshing. Life is a breeze when you realize nothing bad that has or will happen to you is actually your fault. Sure, since it’s not your fault and you can’t do anything about it, life will likely continue the way it is. Mistakes will be repeated, avoidable mishaps will happen. But hey, at least you don’t have to feel guilty about it right? You can sleep in peace knowing that you have done no wrong, though your roof might collapse and your bed sheets have been left unchanged since its inception, you are at peace.

Don’t Take Action, Complain and Elicit Pity

People say that brave people take action; People say that strong people take action; I say that smart people DON’T take action, instead, they complain and elicit pity. Why not, you ask? Because once you take action, there is nothing left to complain about, there is nothing left to garner your sympathy and pity.

Besides, it is not that you lack the bravery to take action, it is that you have actually considered things meticulously, analyzing the pros and cons. And in your careful consideration, you have found that the difficulties and challenges far outweigh any potential benefits. You are simply a calculative and intelligent person! Yes, indeed you are! But you are like any other man, you have fantasies, dreams, and goals. But gosh… how likely is it that you will actually live these dreams of yours? Better to stop now before the sunk cost gets too high, am I right?

Ignorance is Bliss

Honest self-reflection is the kryptonite of anti-heroes. Anti-heroes believe that ignorance is bliss. Honest self-reflection mandates some action be taken to correct a flaw, but as we have already discussed above, taking action is a no-no for us. Think about it, most of us — if not all — will never become a supermodel, a famous actor, a sports legend, an executive at a large firm, etc. Most of us won’t even come close to the dreams we set out to achieve as little kids. How then can we satiate our pride, our fragile little ego? How can we look ourselves in the mirror without a hollow feeling of inadequacy? Well, luckily for the anti-hero, it is super easy!

Why am I not a famous athlete? I have bad genetics of course! I have the work ethic for it, I just was not blessed with the right genes. What about an actor you say… ahh most people in Hollywood have the right connections you see. I, on the other hand, am not so fortunate. I am not American after all, and I was not born in California. Lucky them, those darn actors, they have a job because of me, they should be grateful to me. You can ask me anything. Whatever flaw or inadequacy you can conjure up, I can provide a most logical and rational reason for it. How? Impressed huh… I spend all my time thinking of these reasons. That way there is no need for any honest or real self-reflection. What is the point of those anyway, it just makes you feel all miserable and weak. Couldn’t be me.

Final Words

I hope it’s obvious to you that I’m being sarcastic when I mention all those things above. The anti-hero isn’t some made-up fictional person, it is in all of us. It lives in us, it is a part of our being. It is the dark spirit that tells you to give up even before you have even started. It gnaws at your insecurities and doubts, harrowing you during your sleepless nights. It is the devil that sows the seeds of hatred and jealousy when we see those blessed beyond us. Then it whispers in our ears that the only way to right this injustice is to inflict upon others what the world has inflicted upon us. It feels good at first, a sort of dopamine kick, a quick feel-good remedy. But behind the scenes, it takes its toll. Soon we end up miserable, sullen, and obstinate. We become nihilistic, dreadful to speak to, and we complain but never take action. We have become an underground man. We have become the anti-hero.